THE MIDSHIRE GAZETTE 

23rd July 1886 

Victorian Collectors Promise To Save England's Folk Treasures, 
English Heritage and English Ethnic Continuity To Be Preserved Forever 

At first glance it appears that the well-heeled British Victorian collectors of "everything not nailed down" have found a new target for their cultural appropriation, and it is a darned sight closer to home than Egypt or Africa, and doesn't involve an extinct race or ethnic group. 
Down in the English countryside the local yokels have been accosted by various musical and academic types, both male and female, uttering dire warnings about the complete loss of our English folk-arts to progress and industrialisation unless something is done about it now. 
The folk-history of our English common-folk ancestors; probably the only thing of value that they could pass down to their children and their children’s children is under threat. 

Not just some of our folk-heritage but ALL of our English folk music, folk-song and folk-dance lost and gone forever unless ……. some altruistic beneficiaries come along and save us from cultural and ethnic extinction. 
Thankfully, these cultural knights on white horses have offered a solution to thwart the inevitable. 
They have suggested that they will take all of our written and oral treasures – musical manuscripts, loose scribblings, electronic recordings, photographs and documented local country dances, Morris dances, and the like and will hold them for posterity. 

In case you are wondering dear reader, what exactly “for posterity” means, it means they will be looked after by guardians until they can be returned to the English people in less turbulent, socially stable times. This editorial believes this will most likely be within the next 20 years or so. 

Ordinarily, a people would never give up their heritage, their national treasures  to total strangers, but in this case they have given their word that all will be returned to us at the earliest possible time. 
These music academics however, swear that this action is essential to ensuring the survival of our people, the native people of England, and the traditional English way of life. 

They have also sworn that the English people will continue to have ownership of, and free access to, all of the material that they collect and that none of the material will be used for commercial gain of any sort. 

The publication wholeheartedly supports this endeavour.